Oh yes, I am going there. Praise God and Happy Gay Pride!

Every last weekend of June in our state,  many of us Minnesotan's flock to Loring Park and celebrate community and pride (for a lack of a better word). The GLBT folk and their friends flood the streets with smiling painted faces, noise makers, flamboyant attention getting attire, and a hunger for a warm welcome.

This year I am contemplating the inevitable vote on our ballet to ban or not to ban gay marriage in the Minnesota constitution. Let me just say first and foremost.

I realllllly want to marry my girlfriend. Really, really bad. Okay moving on.

Whenever I am thinking about prejudice and homosexuality I am immediately brought to my religious roots. I was raised in a very powerful, very uplifting church. I have a great relationship with Christ. I don't have a good way to explain it to naysayers. I just do. And lucky for me, God gives me that option. Paves the way in fact with poetry, promises, and scripture. All in this little black book that somehow is commonly used to condemn me. Weird that I can take such comfort in text that is used to lock so many doors to the pearly gates.

On my little mental journey to understanding true faith I am always brought back to the stories of the Pharisees. Why is it that when the biblical texts that are the weapons of categorizing homosexuality as wrong, this story never comes up? Maybe there are not enough gay bible believers with the knowledge and know how to circumvent a hypocrite when they see one.

Well... I can.

I wont even "explain the translation as I see it." I am going to let you read it and decide for yourself where you really stand in the eyes of God.

Bring on the scoldings of Jesus Christ.

Just to avoid the argument that I am picking any text I want to provide insight, lets be clear that Matthew was a storyteller and this is the 15th chapter of his telling of Jesus' visit. Right before this he was mourning the  death of his devoted friend John the Baptist and came upon a multitude of people starving and needing healing. He put his selfish sadness aside, and out came the legend of the loaves and fishes. When they returned to shore after Jesus taught the disciples a fun lesson in faith and drowning this is what happened. There now you have the full story so enjoy. It's a beautiful explanation of truth.

Then some Pharisees and teachers of the law came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked, ² “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They don’t wash their hands before they eat!” (Ghastly shock for mothers everywhere!)
³ Jesus replied, “And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? ⁴ For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother’^[a] and ‘Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.’^{[b] 5} But you say that if anyone declares that what might have been used to help their father or mother is ‘devoted to God,’ ⁶ they are not to ‘honor their father or mother’ with it. Thus you nullify the word of God for the sake of your tradition. ⁷ You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: (Was that just Jesus and Isaiah gossiping???)

⁸ “‘These people honor me with their lips,
    but their hearts are far from me.
⁹ They worship me in vain;
    their teachings are merely human rules. ’^[c] ” "( Wait you mean we humans don't have to capacity to understand every little detail about God's word??? Prove it. Oh wait... you just did.)

¹⁰ Jesus called the crowd to him and said, “Listen and understand. ¹¹ What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.” (Resist, all you pervs!! I had to!!)

¹² Then the disciples came to him and asked, “Do you know that the Pharisees were offended when they heard this?”
¹³ He replied, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots. ¹⁴ Leave them; they are blind guides.^[d] If the blind lead the blind, both will fall into a pit.”
¹⁵ Peter said, “Explain the parable to us.”
¹⁶ “Are you still so dull?” Jesus asked them. ¹⁷ “Don’t you see that whatever enters the mouth goes into the stomach and then out of the body? ¹⁸ But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. ¹⁹ For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. ²⁰ These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.”

And please get specific on the mention of "sexual immorality". Let's dive in. Cause I am walking on water with Jesus. I aint scurrred.

Let's start with Webster since we obviously trust him for definitions. (For the sake of controversy let's remember that Webster was a human too.)

Noun

1.

immorality - the quality of not being in accord with standards of right or good conduct.

Noun 1. conduct - the manner in which a person behaves; behavior

Sounds like immorality is not from an honest heart.

And now were are back to square one with what is right and good, black and white, pure versus evil. And the standards on which human's hold other humans.

By now you should have a good idea of what I am trying to enlighten with. If not.... 

In the words of Jesus," Are you still so dull?"

I realize the hypocrisy of my trying to educate someone else, on the fallible beliefs I think they have.

I never said I was perfect. I am a sinner. I just really want to marry my girlfriend.

 This one is located somewhere else so I didn't include it. But isn't it a goodie!?

Matthew 23 (The whole chapter is like this)
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men's faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.
They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.

Humbled by more than just the cold

On Sunday night, I was scouring the kitchen for some left over wine from New Years. I had just spent 4 hours playing Phase Ten with the kids and was feeling annoyed and frantic for some peace and quiet. I stepped outside our back door in merely my sweatshirt for a quick smoke. I did not bundle up even though it was below zero temperatures. I knew I was just going to run back inside to the comfort of my couch and warm up with my wine. As I was quickly finishing my cigarette I heard a clatter from across the street. Not uncommon due to the variety of people who live in the apartment complex itself, but this was different. Instead of dumping the garbage into the dumpster and scrambling back inside there was a figure taking things out of the garbage. He dropped a few cans and then went back for more. I have lived most of my life in the suburbs seeing only the homeless when I travel to the city. I never felt the responsibility of someone struggling in my own city. Living in Saint Paul I suppose it was inevitable. But nothing could have prepared me for the gut wrenching desire to help this man out. I quick ran inside to the kitchen where Nikki was making dinner. I told her with a desperate voice how I wanted to help this man someway. She suggested we bring him some sandwiches and something to drink. The though occurred to me that he may not WANT our help. So I decided I would simply ask. I grabbed Jordan from the video game he was playing, we bundled up and ran across the street to offer a measly meal. I introduced myself and Jordan, I asked if we could make him some sandwiches. He looked surprised and immediately approved my request. The few seconds it took me to run back inside with Jordan to prepare a bag lunch for this fellow citizen was the height of my "feeling good". Once I got back inside I felt nothing buy humility for the rest of the night. While making the food the kids were exuberant. They wanted to do anything and everything they could to help this man whom mom said was homeless. We packed up 2 sandwiches, heated up the left over pancakes from breakfast, and bagged a few Christmas cookies and some bottled water. The kids and myself barreled out the door supplies in tow while Nikki kept a watchful eye on us from the porch. We handed him the food and he thanked us by name. There was a brief exchanging of god bless you's and thanks, then we headed back into the house. The kids went back to their game. Nikki went back to dinner. And I stood there in the kitchen, wine in hand. Warm. With only a slight grumble of hunger in my stomach. I could not stop thinking of how to help more. Maybe I should have given him money. Or a warm blanket. Or a hug... The list kept going in my head. How could doing something nice make me feel so helpless and guilty. I receded to the bathroom and ran a hot bath. Lying there made the feeling worse. I prayed silently for this man who surely appreciated the gifts, but has no idea the gift of a lesson he gave my children and myself.

Kakkoi Con 2008

KAKKOI CON 2008



I am a little late in getting this up, but never late than never I suppose. Over the beginning of August I went to my first anime convention. It was more fun than I could have imagined! Granted I didn't get to go to any panels. And I spent 200 some dollars on a hotel I slept in for less than 8 hours all weekend....
But as far as party's go. It was all worth it.
One of my dearest friends from high school, Ryan and his amazing fiance, Samm were the owners and administrators of this event. They planned the whole weekend from the ground up and honestly I could not be more proud of the two of them. Besides the concept of an anime convention Nikki and I decided we wanted to help them out in any way we could, so we volunteered our time. I took on the innocent and submissive persona of a Japanese maid and became "Maid Mariel" for the Maid's cafe. - irrashimase!!!! While Nikki used her unmistakable people skills and took over VIP coordinator. I adored the maids I worked with and fully appreciated (honestly) being submissive and sweet for a while.....
Then night fell.

Another of our dearest friends "Ian" also joined the volunteering, he became a one man giant ego named "Niko" (just so you know this means -meat- in Japanese) and swarmed the host club with his radiant personality and dashing good looks. Along with Toki-Meku, Aiden, Lightning Rod, Skyy, and Lios . .(there was one more newcomer and I will add in his host name when I find it.) At the last minute I was enrolled to help usher the ladies and gentlemen to considerable bliss as Madame Rayna. This was the highlight of my weekend. Parading men around and giving giggling women a chance at true anime flirtation. Granted it helped that I was free to drink the entire time as well as guests and hosts of age. After the first night I was hooked and continued to take this role every evening. I completely fell in love with all the suave hosts and can't wait to see them next year for a reunion! My only regret is I didn't get a group shot of all of us on one night. *sob* I have debated photo shopping all of us in one together.... Next year I am only going to be in the madame of the host club and there are plans in the making of a tank girl sort of costume. I can hardly wait already! I also plan on making a panel of some sort perhaps a bento how - to or maybe origami since these are my japanese related talents.

Like a waterballoon being played with by a 5 year old with ADHD

It's bound to explode.
I am having on of those really anxious weeks. There is so much going on that just thinking about it all is exhausting. The anime convention is this weekend and I am beside myself with anticipation. This will be my first anime convention and not to mention the first attempt at cosplay the maid cafe as "Maid Mariel". Picture this... Japanese maid meets Rayna... Only one word to describe. Kawaii!!! I have to mention this is all thanks to Ryan and Samm, without their genius imagination and super human determination this would never have been possible.
Besides the thrilling ride of this weekend we finally got my mother into a new car!!!! 20,000+ miles of instant stress relief. I was getting seriously uneasy about her driving that truck anymore. I found myself not letting her come get the kids because of it and that felt awful! How heartless I had to be. But no more. Thank God for small favors, if she hadn't been rear ended by that idiot in Edina this may have been delayed even longer.
Still no word on the home. Both Nikki and I are walking on egg shells trying not to talk about how impatient we feel. It's worse than watching grass grow. I would willingly watch the grass grow if it meant I wouldn't be homeless in a month. Nikki is out of her apt on this Thursday. We will officially all be under this 2 bedroom roof (and a storage facility) for the next month. I just want it to be smooth and closed so I can go blow all the money I have been saving at IKEA and be done with it. Is that really too much to ask?

Super Jordan

Just a quick picture of my son Jordan. We went to underwater world (season passes rock) the other night and he wore his "super hero" outfit. There is just nothing better than the imagination of an 8 year old. We still didn't get the puffer fish to blow up but we did get to see the piranha with two mouths. Weird!

Introducing..... Me

Well this is the moment where I become officially connected to the WWW. I have ventured out from the hole that is myspace and made a blog. We'll see if I can keep up with it.
Right now everything in my life seems to be in limbo. The future of my family sits in the hands of one mortgage broker who doesn't seem to be playing with a full deck. Or it least has a constant game of 52 pick up going on in her head. Nikki and I are at the end of our patience with her. I am even contacting another agent today to have a back up plan. The reality of our ending leases is pending heavily on our heads. So much for being well prepared. (We started this in March!)
This weekend Jordan and I are set to road trip to ND for a Bjustad family reunion. This is the family on my fathers side. I have not seen them since my father and grandmother died. I don't have a strong tie to them other than the blood relation. I honestly don't know what to expect. I am traveling with Mom, Jordan, Aunt Jan, and my cousin Erin. Good company I assure you. I hope to provide many pictures when I return.